


feelings seem fatal (but are they really?)

by Mirkachu



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Hiking, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, Online Friendship, Roommates, if u have any specific questions ill just leave it up to your own imagination, kind of lol but not rlly, what else do i tag this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirkachu/pseuds/Mirkachu
Summary: Dream has always loved hiking. He never thought he would love George along with it too, though. He hopelessly pines over George countries away, and he needs only his friends to convince him hard enough to confess.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs & Sapnap
Kudos: 61





	feelings seem fatal (but are they really?)

**Author's Note:**

> As I always do, I started writing this out of pure impulse when I was supposed to be sleeping and decided to finish it despite having no plans on how to end it because I thought the idea was cool enough. Hmu on my instagram @an.actual.may or on my twitter @anactualmay if you want to :)

The wind flowing through his hair, the occasional stab in the corner of his eyes, the soreness of the fingertips on his arms from walking up and down the trails scattered with rocks for hours on end.

Dream had always taken a liking to hiking. Ever since he was younger, he felt thrilled anytime his mom would tell him of another trip they were going to take, another mountain they were going to conquer.

He was never used to looking around at the world and at the beauty of the woods that were in the hundreds of forests, always focusing on keeping up his pace, always focusing on getting to the finish line as fast as possible. Dream never stopped to admire how pretty the world could be.

Sometimes, though, he would think. What else was there to do when you were stuck on a long path, the quickness of your steps leaving you breathless? He thought a lot.

He thought about the lingering touches of the ones he wishes he could hold close. He thought about how he’s wasted all of his life, not being true to himself, not being able to figure out how he felt. Feelings are so complicated for everyone, for him.

Sometimes he would lie at night, his mind going on an almost endless rollercoaster, switching through different topics and emotions like they were nothing. There was a metaphor, or whatever you’d like to call it, that he came up with once.

_You were like a mountain, a hill there for the people to climb if they were brave enough and worthy enough for you to let them in. I loved traversing the trails, I loved being close, just being. I came there to you every day, looking for comfort and looking to try and get you to be mine, to try and find out if you liked me like I liked you. There were other people around sometimes, I felt envious of them. I felt envy about how someone like them could get so much higher than me, how it looked like you let them in easier than me. It felt like they didn’t deserve it. I always had to be the closest, I always had to be higher than everyone else. Being competitive is just part of my nature. And just like I do in real life, I never stop to look around, I never stop to reflect on how amazing you are, as a person. I get lost in my competitiveness, in my envy, in my jealousy, and in my want for the end goal. I get lost in my fantasies about morning kisses and cuddles under the stars. I get lost in my idea of you, but i never look at how you truly feel, I never look at you. I stop in my tracks, noticing there’s a steeper, harder path for me to climb next. The mountain gets steeper and steeper as the trees get shorter and the sun shines on my face. I realize the end is too high for me to climb, I’m not strong enough. I stand there, overlooking the top of the hill, thinking about all of the things I could lose if I don’t just get there. I stop and look around. There’s a different path, a few hundred or only one mile away. I see a person there, sitting next to a giant piece of rock, gazing at the beauties of the things around them. I feel envy. The thing is, if only I stopped to look around, I would find out there’s a different, easier path to take. I let my impulses and my want control me, and it has left me breathless. I have failed both you and myself._

_Thank god the powers above have granted me with a million different tries to take._

He would fall asleep at night, then. He would sleep soundly, and then wake up in the next morning. Dream wishes he wasn’t such a failure, sometimes.

His morning routine was simple. Wake up at approximately 5:30, brush hair and teeth, wash face, put on the comfiest workout clothes and go for a run or rather the shortest hike he can think of. Of course the quarantine and the state of the world limited the longest and most important part of his routine, so he ended up resting in his bed on his back, hours before anyone else (presumably Sapnap, since he always wakes up after dream,) in the house was going to wake up. His eyes felt an irritating pain from the brightness of the light he turned on before laying down. It was still dark outside, and the sun was only peeking through the cracks of the scenery far away.

He was pondering over what to do next, since the hygiene part of his routine was already done, and he was supposed to be enjoying his ‘free time’ now.

The world was always so boring on the weekends. Only a few tired people outside, possibly walking their dogs, or getting ready for their minimum-wage shifts at their jobs in the shops around the block. There was never really anything to do, besides sit around all day or play videogames with his roommates and friends from across the world.

The blond was trying to not think about that one thing always in the back of his mind, running away and changing the subject in his brain on reflex every time it came to it. Well, all attempts at forcing yourself to ignore something always end up not working at some point.

He could text George.

Wait, no, that wouldn’t work. George is one hour behind his time zone, which means it’s about 5 or even 4 am for him. Dream can’t believe he even considered waking him up at such an early hour in the first place, what kind of un-empathetic asshole is he? George deserves his sleep.

_George’s figure lying soundly in his bed, perhaps cuddling a pillow like he said he does a lot in his ramblings about how touch-starved he is. George’s beautiful oddly coloured eyes closed in a calm and peaceful fashion. Dream would look at him, he would notice how wonderful he looked under the warm light of the sunrise piercing through the tinted covers of the window. Dream would reach out his arms and-_

He snapped out of his trance at the sound of the rain dropping on the window sill outside. It was raining. The droplets of water weren’t the kind you’d get during the summer, warm, comforting and big. They were small and sharp pieces that would cut through the breeze and fall quickly towards the ground, hitting it in loud and rhythmic pops.

God, the man shouldn’t let such intrusive ideas haunt him, he shouldn’t let feelings of such kind control him like this.

He sighed heavily and got up, ready to check the time and maybe prepare himself some sort of breakfast to eat. He doesn’t usually eat breakfast, just sitting around, exhausted from the hours of sleep and starving because he doesn’t feel like eating yet. Today he felt like treating himself. It was a form of ignoring how complicated the threads in his mind were, and it was working.

It was 6:17 AM, assuming by what the clock on the counter said. Dream decided he could make himself a sandwich, or maybe even some chocolate cereal with milk. Cereal sounded good.

He opened the cabinet, taking out a big for some, but just enough for him ceramic bowl. He walked to the other side of the kitchen, almost tripping over the big table in the middle, and he opened the fridge to take out some milk. After he had both the bag of cereal and the milk, he poured both of them in the bowl and grabbed a spoon with the most unhealthy and sweet breakfast he could make.

Dream assumed he would get lost again if he doesn’t put something on, so he turned on the TV they got from an old lady that was probably made in the late 2000’s and clicked through the channels to whatever thing wasn’t boring or annoying enough for him to watch. He was ready to sit there for as long as he had to to ignore everything that was going around him while the rain kept up its steady rhythm outside.

* * *

George always knew feelings were complicated. He always knew whatever he felt, he never really could put a permanent category on how his chest pressed in or how his wide smile made his cheeks ache.

But he knew one thing, and that was that he was so obviously fucked in the romantic department when it came to his best friend, Dream.

He always knew there was something there, some sort of tension between them every time they jokingly flirted around or told each other the infamous words of ‘I love you’ before going to bed, but he always decided to just not worry about it. You can’t ignore it when you see the guy in person, though, and that has already happened twice last year.

George wishes he could just live a perfectly simple life, where he was confident in his thoughts and feelings and confident in the actions he made.

He woke up at around 7 or 8 am, not exactly ready to face the day filled with hours of sitting around in complete solace without anyone to actually talk to beside the friends he had countries away from his. He groaned and buried his face deeper into his pillow. The cloth of his favourite blue sweater he decided to wear to bed stuck to his body uneasily because of the sweat that gathered up there during the night. He didn’t brush his teeth or change into any other clothes, only washing his face and trying to fix the nest of what his hair came to be. Afterwards, he stumbled over to the kitchen and grabbed the first thing that resembled food (half of a baguette, he’s too lazy and tired to make anything) and he sat down on his couch, checked his twitter and ate the thing in silence.

He knew spending hours on endless doom-scrolling every morning would probably not be the best way to start your day, but he already had nothing else to do outside of that and sleeping in, so give him some slack, okay?

He realized he could text Dream, knowing his friend was most definitely already awake.

**You: Good morninggg :)**

**Dreamyboy: goodmornin george :)**

**You: Got anything to do? Im so bored and just exhausted today, idk why**

**Dreamyboy: ehhh i havent rlly thought of anything i guess? we could just get on discord n play mc for a bit w sapnap, hes already up btw**

**You: Yeah, that sounds ok!**

After almost 3 hours of spending time mining and fighting on their shared survival realm, they said their goodbyes to sapnap and were left alone in the discord call.

“You wanna go too or..?” Dream asked with a sheepish smile, kind of wanting to leave to process the butterflies in his stomach, but wanting to stay for George too.

“Oh- no, no. I don’t think I’ll be leaving yet, it’s too early for lunch for me anyways,” George chuckled, “but do _you_ want to go?” He asked curiously and raised his eyebrows.

“Ehhh, I’m up to play some games on hypixel if you want.”

“Okay okay, I’m joining the server right now.”

A few beats passed in silence, both leaving the realm and joining the popular server almost in sync. Neither of them were sure why, but the silence was significantly more suffocating than usual.

“Have you seen the musical Wilbur recommended?” Dream asked out of a need for something to talk about, something to just finally cut through the unreasonable awkwardness.

George snickered, “Which one? He’s always recommending musicals, Dream.”

“Hamilton. You know, the one he talks about every chance he gets?”

He knew he hasn’t seen it, but he took a minute to think about it regardless.

“No. I saw how long it was and I just decided I didn’t have enough motivation at the time.”

Dream wheezed and laughed while he sent George a party invite in the chat. “Of course you haven’t seen it, but for the record, I haven’t gotten around to it yet too. Can you accept the party request by the way?”

George hummed, ignoring the happy feeling bubbling up in his chest at the sound of Dream’s laugh and clicked on the accept invite button.

George talked up again, “What do you want to play?”

“I don’t know, whatever you want to is fine,” he answered with his usual response.

George thought about it, “party minigames sounds nice right now.”

“Okay, I’m joining it right now.”

Dream and George’s minecraft characters appeared next to each other in the small lobby, both of them moved off the little platform and started jumping around the island to kill time while waiting for the game to start.

Dream cleared his throat. “Do you want to watch Hamilton together sometime?” He asked nervously, scared he was going to say something wrong for no rational reason.

George giggled and answered, “Sure, how would we even watch it though?”

Dream relaxed with relief and a grin grew on his face. “I don’t know, I heard there were sites you could watch things together on, we’ll figure it out.”

“Sounds plausible enough to me,” George, without knowing he was doing so, grinned right back at Dream.

The blond felt excited about their plans, despite it being a pretty basic thing to spend time on with your friend. He was always eager to spend as much time with George as possible, fuck.

Both of them faltered into an easy conversation, talking about both the game and any topics they came up with.

They both ignored the growing feeling of both dread and love or whatever it was (they were complicated, okay?) in their hearts.

* * *

“Bye George! I love you.”

“Uhm, bye-”

George clicked off the call abnormally fast out of pure uneasiness at the thought of saying those words back, inevitably cutting off the second half of his goodbye. His face reddened with embarrassment and he threw himself on his bed only a couple meters away. George groaned in his pillow and decided he would rather spend his entire life in his bed, his face buried in the comfy cushion, rather than talking to Dream ever again.

Why did he come to this? Why did George, of all people, have to end up acting like a 14 year old inexperienced girl in love? God, hopefully this state can’t get any worse than what it already is.

Dream doesn’t even like him back, he’s so pathetic.

* * *

Dream was left in almost complete silence, the sound of the rain still keeping up, but fading outside. He sitting alone in his room in front of his monitor and he was confused. Why did George leave the call in more of a hurry than he ever did before? Dream sighed, he was probably just over-thinking everything anyways. George didn’t like him, George probably didn’t even resent him too.

He wishes he could go hiking again, the sound of breeze hitting the nature around him sounds very appealing right now-

His stomach let out a loud gargling sound, interrupting his thoughts and reminding him that he was hungry and it was 1 PM, great.

Dream got up from his rather way too expensive for his taste (Karl, his and Sapnap’s other roommate, bought it for him using his rich grandparents’ money on Christmas about 2 years ago.) gaming chair, took off his headphones and nonchalantly opened his door, making his way towards the kitchen. He hoped deep inside that Sapnap didn’t burn or even _make_ lunch today, and that he preferably ordered something instead.

“Hi Sapnap and Karl.”

“Good morning, Dream,” Karl greeted casually while filling his glass with water in the sink.

“It’s one in the afternoon, Karl, you’re just a heathen,” Sapnap remarked with a smirk and put his leg up on the kitchen table.

“Sapnap, put your leg down from the-“ Dream began talking.

“Hey! Atleast I get enough sleep every night, unlike you two. Who’s the real heathen here now, huh?” Karl filled up his glass to the brim and sat down in the second seat around the table.

“Sapnap, legs off the table,” Dream finished what he was going to say earlier and sat down in his chair along with everyone else. “Karl, what are we eating for lunch today?”

Sapnap slid his leg off the table resentfully and mumbled a quiet ‘fine’ while sprinkling in some unintelligible swears just for the hell of it. He rested his head on both of his hands on the table and stared at Karl in anticipation, signalling for him to answer Dream’s question.

“Sapnap ordered some things we eat usually, nothing too complicated,” Karl replied in the vaguest way he could, not really remembering what Sapnap ordered.

Dream let out a breath, “Oh, thank god.”

“And what does that mean!?” The brunet shouted at the other and furrowed his brows.

“Anything you make in inedible by default,” Dream deadpanned.

“True,” Karl said offhandedly.

Sapnap groaned, “Fine, but you didn’t have to be that rude about it.”

Dream and Sapnap bickered even more while Karl jumped in with short agreements and disagreements while they waited for their lunch to arrive. When the loud ring of someone at the door sounded, Karl got up and left them both in the kitchen alone.

Just as Karl was out of sight, Sapnap smirked and stared directly at Dream. “So you and George, huh?” He said in a teasing tone.

“What?” Dream chuckled nervously and averted his gaze, “Where did you get that from?”

“Come on Dream, I was so painfully obviously third-wheeling today, you guys finally got into a relationship or something? If so, I’m totally winning 20 bucks,” Sapnap said so very casually and set one of his hands down on the table.

“What? We aren’t in any relationship-“ Dream laughed nervously as his ears and face heated up, “wait, you bet on _what!?”_

Sapnap began laughing.

“What’s so funny, Sapnap?” Dream began feeling irritated.

“You-“ Sapnap let out another chuckle, “You’re blushing! You’re fucking blushing!”

“I’m not blushing!” Dream’s cheeks, ironically, shined a brighter shade of red than before.

“Of course you are!” Sapnap calmed down while still letting out giggles of laughter occasionally, “You are so obviously blushing right now.”

“Well it doesn’t matter anyways so-

“Guys! I got you the food!” Karl shouted from the other side of the room while carrying 3 containers of their lunch.

Dream recollected himself and tried to act as normal as possible while Sapnap held in his laughter perfectly, and both of them took their food and got to eating it. The three of them ate in mostly silence while talking about meaningless things from time to time, and ended up returning to their respectful rooms once they finished their lunch.

Dream slammed the door and threw himself on his bed, no longer wanting to talk to Sapnap and play some games after lunch like they usually did every weekend. He draped his hands over his eyelids and dragged his cheeks down while groaning.

If only Dream wasn’t in as deeply as ever before.

Days flew by, and feelings only grew, but who would know they would snap so fast?

* * *

Dream was hyping himself up at around ten PM, pacing energetically from one side of his room to his other. Sapnap and Karl gave him a pep-talk earlier, convincing him to finally confess to George and get the disaster of what was going on over with. If only Dream wasn’t so fucking nervous about how George, his best friend of almost 5 years that he met in person only two times in his entire life, was going to react to him suddenly confessing his undying love for him.

What if he doesn’t like him back? What if he thinks that he’s weird, and leaves him for forever?

Dream let out a chuckle as he remembered how similar this situation was to him coming out to George. That felt like such a long time ago.

He already knew telling him would be better than keeping it inside for forever, so he snatched his phone and quickly sent George a text.

**You: hey**

George replied almost immediately.

**GregNotFnd: Hi Dream, what’s up?**

Dream gulped and braced himself for the worst, he had no other choice than to do it now.

**You: can u get on call real quick? it’s sort of important lol**

**GregNotFnd: Okay :) just wait a bit, ill be on discord in a sec**

That “sec” was the longest second in Dream’s entire life, and his leg was bouncing up and down so fast that he was almost convinced it will shoot off and find an independent life in space. Right as the circle on George’s icon turned green, his hands flew to his keyboard to press on the call button.

“Hi Dream!” George’s voice boomed through the headphones and Dream had to turn his sound down, the pressure on his chest tightened and he felt like he would rather fall through the floor than be where he was at the moment.

“H-Hi George,” he stifled his nervous chuckle as he talked.

“What is it you wanted to tell me?” George’s voice sounded almost as nervous as Dream’s, though it really did pale in comparison to how Dream was feeling.

“Uh- I um- It’s just-“ Dream sighed, “Sorry, I’m just kind of nervous.” Dream failed to stifle the second chuckle, and only proved his point in the end.

“Oh! It’s okay, you can take all the time in the world, I’ll wait.”

Goddammit, why did George have to always be so nice to him?

“I just,” Dream sighed,” I just wanted to tell you that I’ve...”

George waited in silence, not exactly sure what was going to happen and trying not to keep is hopes up, just in case.

“I’ve liked you George, for a pretty long time now,” Dream blurted it out before he started stuttering again.

George’s eyes widened in shock as he took in what Dream said. Was he dreaming? Did Dream, _The Dream_ , actually confess to him right now? He grinned.

“Uh, It’s okay if you don’t like me back- I can- I can just leave right now if you want it’s okay with me I don’t want to make you feel like you have to like me back or make you uncomfortable or anything- oh shit did I make you uncomfortable? I’m so sorry George you don’t have to say anything I can just-“

George started laughing.

“What?”

George laughed even harder, letting out snorts while he covered his face with his palm. Dream started chuckling along with him, extremely confused as to why George would be laughing in a situation like this.

Once they (mainly George) calmed down, they sat in a finally comfortable silence.

“I like you too, dumbass.”

And maybe, years down the line, Dream finally took out George on the longest hike they could conquer together.

* * *

_I was granted with thousands of tries to climb you, and through my impatience and failures I never gave up on proving myself to you. Who would have known, that this entire time you were trying to get to me too? I just never looked around, but now I finally see you, you’re beautiful._

**Author's Note:**

> Ah yes, I love living out my ancient fantasies about Them through some random ass minecraft youtubers online, I really do. Anyways, if you liked this work I would appreciate it if you clicked on the kudos button to send me some short dab of validation, and maybe comment too, I would appreciate that vm <3\. Have a good day wonderful stranger!


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